LIVING HELL! U think your roommate is bad?!?!
November 3rd, 2009 5:09am by admin
I think i might have most of you beat. This is going to be pretty long, so if you dont like reading, move on to the next roommate horror story. I do assure you i have the worst roommate in the world. So. I began a relationship with this guy “Peter” when i was visiting my home state. He lived in a different state, only a few hours away from our home town. I moved in with him and his roommate “Steve” (and Peter had only lived with him for about a month) So I thought the guy was cool, I lked his girlfriend “kayla” at the time. I started to notice that dishes piled up quickly along with the trash. So I go back to where i was living before and got the majority of my belongings. My boyfriend flew to where i was and we drove my car back to Arkansas. Steve and Kayla had broken up so it was just him, and he had already gotten a new girlfriend. (mind you he cannot stay single and always has the fattest, ugliest girlfriends) I liked his new girl friend Sharon, she lived in a nearby college town.
So every night she stayed the night, Me and Peter had to listen to her moaning and groaning and not to mention *slap, slap, slap, slap* (found out she is into s&m) If you think thats bad……Steve brags about “Oh i know how to cook very well, i grew up around lots of women” (yeah and they obviously picked up after you, because you dont know how to clean) EVERY TIME he cooks, he makes some sort of sauce or gravy to go with his meal.. BUT he leaves it out for weeks, months, until it molds. Even then, he doesn’t throw it away. Half the time he puts his left over meals, still on the plate with silverware in the refrigerator, UNCOVERED!! At one point, I left for about a month to get more of my belongings, I came home and there were 2 pans of BLACK MOLDY STUFF in the refrigerator, along with one uncovered meal on a plate, dirty silverware, take out chicken boxes and he had used 2 of our glass baking dishes to put some weird pasta/meat conctions in, uncovered of course. They were old and crusty and obviously had been in there for weeks. And when he cooks and theres no room in the fridge since all his moldy disgusting shit is in there, he takes the moldy disgusting shit out and sets it on the counter for weeks!! Its like, really, he knows hes not going to fucking eat his leftovers but he saves it, god forbid he have to walk an extra foot to the trash can and actually throw it away!! Both sink drains, at the moment, are clogged and the sinks are caked with fucking gravy and tomato sauce, and completely filled, both sides, with dirty gross dishes. The one thing i own in that kitchen is my coffee maker and I came home to make coffee only to see 20 teabags hanging out the top of it! He made tea and didn’t even bother to throw away the tea bags or rinse my coffee maker out. I’ve been having difficulties finding a job while i’ve been here, so peter has been supporting me, he’s got plenty to spare, so it’s been hard for me to tell steve what to do, since i don’t pay rent. When peter asks him to pick up his shit, he freaks out, runs down the stairs and slams shit around.
99% of the trash me and peter accumulate is in our room, we have a trash can in our room since we pretty much can’t use the kitchen downstairs. And like normal people, we take our trash out when it gets full. Steve, however, when the garbage is full, he stacks trash like 3 feet up the wall and then bags it, doesn’t take it out, just sets the smelly bag of his trash next to the trashcan, and puts a new bag in. (only when garbage topples over on him from stacking it up the fucking wall) On the bottom level of our place, there is a garage, connected to a small laundry room. Not only does he park his old beat up “muscle car” in the garage every night, but when he leaves at night, he leaves the garage wide open with the light on-and all peters tools are in there. When he comes home, he turns on the garage light, the laundry room light, the hall light that leads to upstairs living room/kitchen and goes to bed! Not to mention he leaves both the door from the garage to the laundry room and laundry room to hallway/stairs open so the whole house smells like gas every fucking day and night.
So he cheated on sharon a few times with nasty 300 pound pin-up girl wannabes. Its really not my place to tell her, but they are not together anymore anyway. I come up from the laundry room with like 40 pounds of laundry, and my arms were completely full because i forgot my basket. I think “Patty” thought i was Sharon because she was coming down the other set of stairs when steve was asking me a question.–Patty stopped and sat down in the middle of the stairs. I stood at the bottom of the stairs with 40 pounds of laundry in my arms after having a quick word with steve and the bitch (300-400 pound pinup wannabe) fucking sat there and looked at me like she was severely mentally handicapped-didn’t even get up, just sat there!!! I was like “HELLOOOOOO” and that just created an even more stupid look on her huge face. So i threw all the laundry on one of the couches and went for a walk. (we’re talking this chick has one of those double chins that 70 year old men get, kinda like a turkey gobbler thing)
So one day my boyfriend goes out of town for the day. I’m reading a book in the living room waiting for my coffee to get done brewing and i hear Sharon and Steve having their demented, screamy, abusive sex. I put on my earphones and attempt to read. I get my coffee and sit there for a second because it was quiet-then i hear someone come out of their bedroom upstairs and I hear sharon say “haha that towel is like totally unusable now” and they laugh. They leave soon enough and I go upstairs. I go pee and i was picking up the towels on the floor-i pick up one of my boyfriends nice white towels only to have……you guessed it, PERIOD BLOOD-get rubbed on my arm. I was FUCKING ENRAGED. Not only did they use one of my boyfriends nice white towels to wipe up her period blood, they threw it in the fucking bathroom when they were done. And she used one of my tampons without asking and took a few with her-and used my last pad..!!!! I called my boyfriend and he called steve and chewed him out. I got a whole cellphone text inbox full of apologies…. A few weeks before that i went to empty the downstairs bathroom trash and what do you think fell on my hand? 2 bloody, old tampons!!! that some stupid chick didn’t bother to fucking wrap up or anything! They broke up but she was here last week, used my last tampon (and if you’re a girl you should know just how FUCKING irritating that is) left period blood on the toilet seat and the tampon wrapper and applicator on the floor! FUCKING CHRIST, SERIOUSLY??
When we go out of town, Steve uses our big screen tv in our room, hangs out with chicks in our room and leaves beers and moldy dishes. He let his ex’s friends sleep in our bed since they were drunk. We’ve come home like 6 in the morning from out of town to a trashed house, porch light on, front door wide open, living room lamp and light, and kitchen light, and again, hallway light laundry room light, and garage light on and he’s just snoozing away in his room…this has happened so many times. I was going to cook and clean for my part of the rent until i got a job, but I gag and throw up every time i try to do that. Moldy sponges and rags everywhere, gnat and fruit fly infestations. He shaves in the sink and clogs up the drain. Constantly smokes pot, and the worse part…well i’ll tell you this first, I am a smoker, but i smoke outside, i can’t stand smelling like cigarettes. Him and his girlfriends smoke in his bedroom which is right across from ours with the windows shut so anytime they open the door, the filthy disgusting old cigarette smell gets into our room somehow. He comes home on his lunch break and takes a shit and smokes in the bathroom at the same time. Then shuts the door all the way when he leaves. So unless you have a gas mask on you really cant use it until you turn the fan on and leave the door open for 3 hours.
I know this is long, but just a few more things about this nightmare. I have not seen one bar of soap in our shower that isn’t Peter’s. I’m always like, Dont you find it disturbing that he has been using your soap since you’ve moved in?? Speaking of bathrooms. My boyfriend buys 6 or 12 packs of toilet paper when we’re out and puts them under the sink for easy access. The only time steve bought toilet paper was when we didn’t buy any for a few days to see if he would actually buy some (we used kleenexes in the mean time) He bought some alright, but he hoarded it in his room and brought a roll with him in the bathroom when he needed it and took it to his room with him when he was done. How stingy can one person get? Things dont fucking register with this guy. He turns all the lights on on his way IN THE HOUSE-ON HIS WAY TO BED. He stacks trash up instead of taking it out. Is he just like “Oh, these chicken wings have been sitting in this cookie sheet for a fucking month, should i just pile dishes on top of them or will they just go away….duuurrrrrrrrr”
This next part is quite embarrassing….So one day, my Peter leaves to work and I go back to sleep. I wake up and everyone is gone. I go outside for a cigarette and i come back in and go upstairs to the upstairs bathroom to go pee. I Pee and when i get up and pull my underwear up I look at the toilet seat and theres a giant smear of SHIT on it. I was tired, but immediately looked in the toilet like, uh…i totally didn’t just take a shit….wtf?? I look at the back of my thigh and there was somebody elses shit all up my leg! on my underwear and everything. I literally started crying, SOBBING. I threw the underwear away and started violently scrubbing my skin before getting in the shower. How do you shit on a fucking toilet seat? WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE! Never in my life had i ever had someone elses fecal matter on my body. How fucking disgusting!!!
The other night-a girl was staying here. The sasquatch bitch used my body gel and shampoo. CRUSHED the fucking bottle, seriously. The lid was already broken off but she popped the lid off, used the body gel and let the lid sit in the drain, almost went down it. Later that night I heard someone knocking shit over in the bathroom. I went in there a while later to find my toothbrush out of place (we have a stand over our toilet that goes up the wall) My toothbrush was soaked (obviously fell in the toilet) and someone had poured a bunch of my body gel in the sink-and left it out on the counter with half of it gone!!!! I yelled loud enough for them to hear me right outside his door about how fucked up and stupid they are. I was soooo pissed. I have anger issues so i find it hard to confront them without grabbing a baseball bat sometimes. We feel like crap alot-i think its because we’re constantly breathing in old food/mold and gas fumes. He’s like geez you guys are so unhealthy, you eat out all the time… I’m just like , SERIOUSLY???? We cant even use the fucking kitchen, we can’t even see the sinks or the oven or the fucking counters, you fucking jackass, i’m fucking done cleaning your disgusting shit, its so inhumane that we have to live in these conditions, picking up after you is like picking up after a family of 18 living in a one room trailor!!!
He got a new phone last month and its got internet/ television, all the facebook and myspace shit on it, and the worse part of all…dun dun dun…SPEAKERPHONE. Every god damn day I wake up to him talking to someone on speaker phone or listening to music as loud as it will go on his fucking phone. Everytime someone calls, even if he isn’t busy, he talks on speaker phone. We will be sitting in the living room having (the rare) Meal and he will sit down with his music blasting on his cell phone 3 feet away from us. He works on his car then uses the nice smell good bar soap to wash his hands, so the sink is black and clogged and the towels are stained, and the soap is gross. He thinks its flattering to say “yeah Peters ex gf was pretty hot, but you’re fuckin bangin” Every time we ask him to clean or do something he says ok i will after work or ok i’ll do it in a few minutes. He either gets high and passes out-or says he’ll be right back and go get annhialated and stay away all night and day to avoid us. I used to just clean everything because i could not handle it, but I shouldn’t have to gag, and literally throw up from trying to clean my home. I’m fucking done!! and we are out of here in a few weeks FINALLY!!!! No more missing make up, no more stolen tampons, no more period blood that belongs to other chicks, no more mold, I’ll actually have a kitchen that isn’t infested with insects, I’ll actually be able to SEE my kitchen and not knock moldy shit out of the fridge everytime i open it!! Yes this is going to be amazing! And you thought your roommate was bad!!