little lazy fucker!
January 27th, 2012 3:53am by anonymous
Seriously, straight out of The Roommate…the movie. I am forced to live with this girl who does everything that I do. I don’t mean a few things, I really mean EVERYTHING!! Her phone was with T-Mobile, until she found out that I was with Verizon, then she changed to Verizon. I have a certain bank that she says up and down that she cannot stand, and low and behold, there is a letter to her from my bank. I get a 32" HDTV, then she sees it, says I like your tv, then she gets one and she cannot even afford it. She doesn’t even have a job! The most recent thing she decides to obsess that I do? My other roommate (the good one) gets a subscription to W Magazine. I ask if I can have it when she is done says yes, then she, who weighs about 350-400 pounds, can’t even fit in her own clothes, only showers every week (if that) only wears floor-length jean skirts since wearing pants is against her religion, never cuts her hair because that is against her religion too, and the magazine has a girl on the front wearing just a bra! She asks if she can read it first! What the fuck?! I have a laptop, she gets a laptop. In short, everything I do, she does. It doesn’t end there. I want internet, all of a sudden she wants internet. Do you think I can trust her to pay the bill on time? NO. I say fuck that, I get my own service and she is stuck with her own bill. I want cable in my room, she wants cable in her room. I say screw the cable and now she is stuck with a large cable bill. Oh wait. No. Because when I didn’t get cable, she cancelled hers.
A year ago I am going for this really important job interview and if I had gotten the job I would be moving an hour away. I always study before my interviews and all night long she is interrupting me. I can’t even think for a minute. I didn’t get the job, my dream job. A jon that I have gotten in the past, but had to turn down. She later admitted she didn’t want me to leave. In those exact words. And then started crying.
I can go on and on about her fucking hygiene too. I work with adolescent boys in a residential center. These boys take showers everyday, brush their teeth everyday, put on Axe everyday, and not one day have they ever deviated from proper hygiene. This girl however, I have already mentioned she takes a shower at most once a week. She never brushes her teeth, even though she keeps a toothbrush and toothpaste handy, they are never used. Instead of proper hygiene this girl puts on half a bottle of perfume and walks around with this really smelly perfume all day leaving this disgusting smell all over the house wherever she walks. The the stink doesn’t go away right away. Oh HELL no! It lingers for about 10 minutes. How am I supposed to hold my breath that long?
Little fucker doesn’t ever clean either. Nope. She never does her dishes, never vacuums, and asking my other roommate, never cleans the bathroom! What does she do all day with no job and not lifting one finger around the house? She sits in her room watching TV all day long.
Eating healthy? HA! the only thing she eats is cereal. About 4 or 5 bowls in every sitting. And if it isn’t cereal its an entire pizza from Little Ceasers. Think she exercises to take all that weight off? HA! How can she even move weighing 400 pounds?
Control freak gallore as well. I couldn’t watch horror movies because they would bring in "evil spirits" I couldn’t use paper towels. I had to buy the most expensive toilet paper and she uses half a roll of toilet paper in one shit! I couldn’t smoke, I couldn’t drink, I couldn’t even cook sometimes.
I think I have a fucking stalker.