Roommate Rant

Stupid and flaky – we didn’t even move in!

How is it that you can't even put effort into the apartment search? You are lazy and stupid! I don't care that you backed out of the lease, but you could have APOLOGIZED for being irresponsible. Were you raised by apes? How did you get into graduate school? Every time I talk to you, you give me the same stupid expression. You are incompetent and I need to pity you.

Fuck you.

Dear roommate: You're a judgmental cunt who talks about everyone behind their backs. I know you say shit about our other roommate who, yes, is a little naive when it comes to guys and a little blonde, but calling her a fat idiot who will sleep with anyone that pays her any attention? I know you're not the most innocent. In fact, I know that you gave our neighbor some sort of STD type rash.

Get real.

Alright two-faced bitch, own up.

You act all sunshiney and happy with your expensive clothes and rich daddy, but if things don't go your way shit hits the fan. It started off simple; you annoy me.

Dirty Cow

I absolutely cannot stand my roomate. She is a dirty, disgusting pig. She leaves beer cans in her closet, dishes in the sink, and on the living room table, and her cats feces on the floor in her bedroom.

The Rhino

I cannot wait for my roommate to move out at the end of the year. He is one of the most irritating people I have ever met. There are 5 of us in the house and when some of tried to set up a cleaning roster for the shared areas, apparently "we'll just clean when it needs it" (he says while standing in bird feather that the cat has just brought in) and we'll all just "take it in turns to buy washing powder (1 month later cue the "why is it my turn?!" whinge) We are all apparently "lame" because we don't go out partying all the time and we don't want to drink copious quantities of alcohol on a Wednesday night when we have classes the next day.

do your fair share

I have 2 roomates. I do 97% of the dishes. I feed, bathe, walk and play with a dog that isn't mine.

Bowel Movement Issue – CLogged Toilet

Hey, everyone takes a crap that clogs the toilet once in a while. Well, I never have, but I'm just saying that to sound inclusive. I mean, if you have a large bowel movement and it clogs the toilet, you use a plunger to unclog it.

Give A Mentally Handicapped Guy a Key to Our Place? Sure.

My roommate was a closeted gay man until he came out at 40. He's 48 now. He has been out of work for 12 months because of the economy and his generally abrasive manner.

Living with Lady Macbeth

I needed to find a place to live that was closer to work, and I heard a guy I knew from my previous job had a room for rent. Great! He seemed nice, and we always got along at work. However, when I moved in, a nagging feeling of discomfort soon followed.

Ramen < Thin Mints

i opened my box of thin mints and inside there were no thin mints, instead there was a package of ramen. I questioned the douche about it and he claimed it was an even trade. an entire box of thin mints is not a fair trade of one package of ramen.