Neither of them clean, and they are always home being loud and obnoxious and smelly. When they burn food they don’t take care of it, nor do they air out the place. They leave their shit in our common areas constantly, and have not ONCE cleaned the floor, vaccuumed, wiped the mirror, or tossed their giant tumbleweed hair clumps accumulating on our floor… I cannot WAIT to move out!

However, since I live in a house with 10 girls, there are a lot more problems still, and the hardest part is to tell who’s at fault because, just like children, NO ONE did it. They eat all my food… I don’t work to buy you bitches food! I’m sorry but my mommy and daddy don’t send me money for groceries… I have to work to pay for my stuff and your munchie asses are not in my budget! Yeah it’s really nice to go to the pantry to eat some breakfast and then discover my WHOLE cereal box that was UNOPENED is now empty. Any food they make they leave tons of it on the counter… seriously there is jelly, butter, crumbs, tomato soup, you name it and it’s on our couter top. How hard is it to wipe it up! Not only that they use my dishes and leave them to mold in the sink because all their dishes are already dirty. I used to do them at the beginning of the year but I’m here for an education, not to be someone’s mother. Fuck that! I do my dishes and my dishes only now, and I think that pisses them off. One time I walked in the door and one of the girls was standing in the kitchen, eating, and looked at me and said, “Don’t mind the dishes,” in a very sarcastic manner, implying that I needed to do them. Excuse me! I did not know that my role was a maid in this house, expecially since you and your on-and-off boyfriend make extravagent meals and leave all the dishes on the stove for days upon days. Gross!!

Oh, and let me mention my location: Utah. It’s beautiful here, but I’m one of the only non-mormon, non-religious girls in my house. I never knew how judgemental a lot of people in Utah can be till I moved here… Don’t get me wrong, I grew up in the LDS religion back home and it was totally different there, people were a lot nicer. However, I parted ways with my religion and hold different beliefs. God forbit. In this house, there’s always that comment…. “I like you, BUT, you need to join institute, you need to go to church”, and they are never hesitant to let everyone else (except ME) know that they do not approve of something I do, and I know this because one of our roommates has the BIGGEST mouth (though she is really sweet and I really enjoy her) and tells me everything. I feel unaccepted, and I feel looked down upon because I choose not to go to church. They drive me nuts when they act like they are morally superior to me just because they’re mormon. And that is the case, because if I were just Christian or Catholic it would be the same thing..

And the last thing…. there are only two private rooms in this house, and so I have to share a bathroom with the girl in the other private room. When I moved into the private room, we discussed class times so we could share the bathroom fairly and not inconveniance one another… what a waste of time. She has class at 11:30 and on some days she’s looked in the bathroom with her Celine Dion music or some other gross shit for hours before class…. Doing god knows what but apparently it’s that important. I have class at 10:30 so if I don’t get in before her I’m SOL. I’ve even heard her take a shower TWICE a few times… WTF?

I cannot WAIT to get out of this house… Oh, and by the way, I only got my own room because the girl in it moved out, even though she had to end the lease early after she had paid for a full semester. She moved out because she couldn’t stand the mess, so yeah, it is that bad!

Rather than go through the entire 10-month ordeal from start to finish, let me just summarize her crimes- I’m sure I’ll have to add more posts as I remember everything she did!

1. Had a number of dirty dogs, none of which were housebroken, which she allowed to urinate and defecate all over the house, bark constantly, chew on everything, eat cat food, eat out of the cat box, and just generally be disgusting and destructive. They were so filthy that when I moved out I had to have all my furniture professionally cleaned just to get the smell out, and when we moved my furniture out there were piles of dried dog poo under everything. When my friends helped me move out, I had to open all the windows and air the house out because they walked inside and physically GAGGED at the stench of animal urine.

2. Had several cats which she never fed, never gave water to, and never cleaned their catbox. The entire house reeked from her catboxes and the cats screamed constantly for food and water, which I usually had to give them (I paid hundreds of dollars to feed her cats while I was there because she would not bother to get them food and they just screamed and harrassed me all the time because they were hungry. If she actually did get them food or put out the food I bought, she left it where the dogs could eat it so the bowl was still always empty and they still always screamed). She also did nothing about their claws and they ruined my very expensive microsuede furniture and parts of the carpet, which means the security deposit went down the drain.

3. Insisted all the utilities go in her name to improve her credit, and then never bothered to pay any of them on time, so she ended up coming to me every month saying she had to have “x” amount of money RIGHT NOW because the bills were already late. I also ended up paying several months worth of water bills myself and she never gave me any of the money back.

4. She broke a brand-new vacuum and THREE carpet steamers in the space of 10 months. How, I don’t know. I paid for the vacuum and one carpet steamer myself (never got the 50% she promised to pay out of her) to try and keep the house clean, and the few times she actually used them (for her own bedroom mainly, she never bothered to clean up the rest of the house) she managed to break them. The second steamer belonged to my friend and I had to have it repaired, the third steamer she borrowed herself and still destroyed. Towards the end I borrowed a vacuum from my mom and kept it locked in my room, and ran it whenever I wanted to have people over (which was pretty rare since the house was so foul by the end).

5. She. NEVER. Cleaned. For months, I would vacuum almost every day, sweep every day, take the trash out, tidy the kitchen, tidy the bathroom, and scrub the whole house down on weekends. She did NOTHING. She came home every day, threw her crap all over the house, left dishes everywhere, trash everywhere, left things all over the bathroom floor and counters, and no matter how much I cleaned she had it trashed by the next day. She would leave dirty dishes in the sink next to an empty dishwasher rather than actually put them in herself. I had to load and unload the dishwasher, clean the stove every time she dumped stuff all over it, mop up the floor when she spilled stuff everywhere, clean out the fridge of her moldy leftovers, take the trash out, clean the bathroom… She. Did. NOTHING. I have never met a filthier person in my entire life. And her excuse? She worked a lot. Yet she managed to be home with whatever idiot she was calling a boyfriend that day 6 nights a week sitting on her fat backside on MY couch watching TV and not doing squat.

6. Which brings me to: she took over the entire house as though I weren’t paying half the rent. Every night, she and her boyfriend parked themselves in front of the TV, cooked in the kitchen, and basically took up the entire downstairs all night long. Which meant I was pretty much confined to my bedroom. And she took long obnoxious showers/baths constantly, and threw a fit if *heaven forbid* I was in the bathroom when SHE needed a shower.

7. She was RUDE. I had friends over for a nice dinner one night, when I actually got off early and claimed the downstairs. We were sitting at the table in the middle of eating when she got home, walked into the kitchen, and proceeded to vent about work for a good 20 minutes, completely ignoring my friends and the fact that we were TRYING to eat dinner. What the ??? Another time, I had people over for a party, she let her dogs run around stealing food off the tables, and when I told her to lock them up, she responded with, if I didn’t stop being a b**** she “wasn’t going to let me have people over anymore”. I’m sorry, last time I checked, it was my friggin’ house too. And I’m sorry that not everyone is dirty enough to appreciate dog spit in their food. Every single person who ever walked into that house commented on how horrendously rude she was ALL THE TIME.

8. And the DRAMA. She broke up with her boyfriend of the week about every other day, and I had to either listen to them scream at each other, or listen to her rant about what happened if it occurred outside the house and I hadn’t been subjected to it already. She even stormed in one night screaming at ME for not having my phone on so that she could have ME get stuff out of HER room so that HER ex could come by for it in the middle of MY dinner and movie. Because somehow I was responsible for dealing with her drama? Good grief. If it wasn’t a guy, it was her mother, or her sister, or her friends, or someone at work, and I had to hear about every last thing that was wrong in her horrible little “woe is me” life. (Because none of it was HER fault, obviously!)

9. She and her friends ate and drank the majority of my groceries every week without paying me for anything nor replacing anything, to the point where I started keeping pretty much all my food upstairs in my closet where she couldn’t access it. Before I left she even made off with an unopened bottle of my booze! And I’m not talking one soda here and there, I’m talking 2-3 cases of a soda and sport drinks per week disappearing EVERY week! Plus my food!

10. When I finally told her I was leaving, she went even more psycho than she already had been. She all but tried to chase me out of the house immediately instead of me leaving in a month or two like I’d planned to (because she wanted to give my room to the dogs), she turned off our cable for no reason (it was already paid), and she tried to demand that I give back my key prior to the lease being up, and yet still pay the rent even though I wouldn’t even have a key (in her own words, because I “might come back and mess the house up”.) She even tried to threaten me with restraining orders to keep me out of the house (I’m pretty sure somewhere a lawyer laughed his a** off at that!). She also threatened to basically wreck the house and try to pin it on me so that I’d have to pay for the damages.

In the end, I lost HUNDREDS of dollars between the costs of trying to keep the house clean, feeding her animals so they wouldn’t starve, cleaning everything after I moved out, paying her part of the bills, etc. Meanwhile, she sat there running her mouth about what a terrible roommate * I * was. Now, I’m sure I’m not perfect, but here’s a rundown of what I DID do as her roommate:

1. Took care of her animals, to include feeding, watering, litterboxes, picking up feces off the carpet, letting dogs outside, even watching them all for weeks while she was out of town, with NO compensation, not even for the food I purchased.

2. Cleaned the entire house, up until the last month or two when I got fed up and just kept my own room clean and picked up after myself, and let her trash the rest and then live in it.

3. Allowed her to borrow my TV for her bedroom the entire time I was there.

4. Gave all the basic courtesies of offering her dinner when I was cooking, warning her before I had people over, telling her if I’d be away for the night, etc., and plenty of “above and beyond” courtesies like folding her laundry when I needed the dryer (since her laundry generally stayed there until she wore it again otherwise), and invited her to any parties or events I had at the house, or even out of the house. I even vacuumed/steam-cleaned HER room if I was doing the rest of the house- in spite of the fact that she pretty much only cleaned out her own room and left the rest of the house in shambles.

Again, I could go on and on (and I’m sure I’ll post more later) but of all the roommates I’ve had, this one takes the cake. Thankfully the horror has ended and I’m now living quite happily alone.

1. She’s a fucking slob. Example: instead of emptying the clean dishes out of the dish washer and putting the mountain of dirty dishes from the sink in there, she’ll just continue piling up dirty dishes on the counter top. Another example: instead of pouring sour milk down the drain and throwing away the carton, she’ll sit the sour milk on the counter top for days so the kitchen stinks up. And don’t even get me started on her fucking bedroom, I don’t even dare go in there.

2. She’s lazy. She has no job. She’s a “grad student” who gets to live off a nice financial aide rebate check every semester. I have to work for a living and she doesn’t seem to understand that this means I can’t constantly hang out with her while she lays around watching TV all the time.

3. She has no car and expects me to drive her everywhere.

4. Really can’t do anything for herself. Case in point, apparently her laptop is fucked up now and she can’t access internet in the apt. Apparently its my job to take care of this. I get two missed calls and two voicemails from her while I’m at work today informing me that I need to call Comcast and explain the situation to them. She infers that I need to call Comcast while I’m at work and attempt to explain the problem with her laptop.

5. She thinks she’s hot and that being a grad student automatically makes her smarter than everybody.

These are grounds for murder, yes? Oh and she’s fat too