Roommate Rant » explicit

Rolled up…

anonymous — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:12:17 +0000

I’ve been pretty lucky with my roommates thus far, but there’s ONE thing that has me madder than a dog with an empty food dish.

I live in a house with 4 other people (all together 5: 2 girls and one guy upstairs, one guy and one girl downstairs). I live in the upstairs and share a bathroom with the other guy and girl and NEITHER OF THEM cleans the bathroom. I wouldn’t be so upset about this if one of them wasn’t leaving balled up peices of toilet paper in the trash bin (which was supposed to be my personal trash bin when I moved in, but the bathroom had none so I moved it in there) covered in shit.

Yes. Shitty toilet paper in the trash bin, apparently it’s too good to go in the toilet so they have to leave it in the bin for everyone else (including house guests) to see! I now refused to touch the trash bin, I’ve cleaned the rest of the bathroom but left the bin as is. Fuck a duck if either of them thinks I’m dealing with their shit.

Fuck you.

anonymous — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:11:45 +0000

Dear roommate:
You’re a judgmental cunt who talks about everyone behind their backs. I know you say shit about our other roommate who, yes, is a little naive when it comes to guys and a little blonde, but calling her a fat idiot who will sleep with anyone that pays her any attention? I know you’re not the most innocent. In fact, I know that you gave our neighbor some sort of STD type rash. You talk about everyone behind their backs constantly. And you blame it on stress? What a fucking excuse. I get stressed out to the point that I don’t sleep for more than 3 hours a night for a week but does that make me a raging cunt? No. Not even fucking close. I know you call your brothers worthless. I know you’ve talked about me behind my back too. Well, guess what? You’re a mean, vile person who will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with anyone because you have to prove that you’re better than everyone. And you can never be wrong either, can you? Either you know everything or the stuff you don’t know isn’t worth the shit that comes out of your mouth once someone walks out of the room. Oh, and don’t think I can’t see through your attention whore habits. I see that everyone has to pay attention to you or you think they’re assholes. You said that someone who was quiet and didn’t talk much seemed like a total douche before you talked to them. What the flying fuck? What motherfucking God-given right do you have to judge someone before you even fucking talk to them. What the motherfucking fuck is your goddamn problem, bitch?

Oh, and after all this time it got back to me that you said I didn’t get to cheer for Korea in the winter olympics because I’m not really Korean. What the fucking hell? Don’t you ever even begin to try to understand my identity you raging cunt. Yeah, I was adopted by white people, but yes, I’m Korean. I have a Korean birth certificate and if you can’t fucking tell by looking at my fucking face then go to fucking hell. You’re white. Have you ever in your goddamn life had to deal with an identity crisis where you don’t know where you fit in because you don’t know what it means to be the race that you are? Go fuck yourself. You will never be able to understand what that feels like. All your stupid, menial problems don’t mean jack shit to me. I lost my mother in high school, my brother has had cancer, my dad has had cancer, I lost my grandfather and couldn’t go to the funeral because it was over finals week, and struggled with depression for years.

Who do you think you are? You think that it’s okay to judge everyone around you and say awful, malicious things about them behind their backs. You are just a horrible person and it infuriates me that you say horrible things about other people that are supposed to be your friends- especially our other roommate who is so kind and you are supposed to be her best friend and yet you say such things about her? If she ever found out the things you say about her she would be crushed. I never hope to associate myself with you ever again and I will be glad to be rid of your once our lease is up, you repugnant excuse for a decent human being. I hope everyone in your life sees what a terrible person you are and leaves you to die alone.

Yours truly,
moi

Bowel Movement Issue – CLogged Toilet

anonymous — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 08:24:09 +0000

Hey, everyone takes a crap that clogs the toilet once in a while. Well, I never have, but I’m just saying that to sound inclusive. I mean, if you have a large bowel movement and it clogs the toilet, you use a plunger to unclog it.

I noticed a funny smell the other day in the bathroom, and i traced it to the plunger. The plunger was caked with fecal matter. My roommate had apparently used the bathroom after a night of drinking, and wasn’t as thorough in rinsing it off as he normally is, I guess. He uses the plunger quite frequently as he has had frequent bowel trouble as he has weighed as much as 500 pounds.

I didn’t even bring it up to him. He would blame it on one of his many guests, none of whom were present in the past week, or try to blame it on a ghost or an alien invasion.

I hate my roommate

anonymous — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 22:48:06 +0000

So my roommate called me during a class today, i couldn’t pick up at the time so i called him back after, this is what was transpired:

Roommate: What do you want?

Me: You called me before, I’m calling you back. What’s up?

Roommate: Yeah, that was before, this is now, it doesn’t even matter.

Me: Yeah, ok….

Roommate: Whatever, peace. [hangs up]

Awesome. What an Ass Hat

C’mon end of semester!

admin — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 17:51:23 +0000

I’ll be so glad when I can move out, away from these little children. I figured that at 27 and with my very introverted personality, that I probably wouldn’t dig the whole dorm thing anyway and though its been slightly better the second time around, having to live in such cramped quarters with two bitches I don’t even know is still pretty fucking annoying. Well, the one bitch isn’t so bad because there’s a thicker wall between us and she’s never around. The OTHER bitch though, my god….there seems to be a paper thin wall between us, to where we can hear EVERYTHING each other does (like her blabbing to her stupid little friends and complaining all the time or oh-so-discreetly screwing her boyfriend in her room). I’m tired of bitch #2’s pretentious, holier-than-fuck, entitled attitude. I’m sure I’m not the only one she pisses off by merely existing and I hope that someday a good, thick fist gives her ugly mug a couple of knuckle-kisses.

I can’t wait to get out!!

admin — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 18:52:49 +0000

I hate my roommates… Oh my god do I hate them… And they probably hate me too by now but I don’t give a flying fuck anymore!! The roommate I had last semester drove me nuts. She had soooo much shit, I didn’t have room for anything. She felt like she owned the room. Whenever I had any space for my stuff she’d wait till I moved it temporarily and then filled that space with her stuff. She would yell at me for quietly coming in at 3 and crawling into bed, saying that I needed to “get with the times(?) and respect her sleeping habits”. Then she’d wake up at 7 and play her shitty folk music when I didn’t even have a class till 12. Not only that, since the closet was by my bed, she would change clothes and throw them on my bed… on ME while I was sleeping. Ok, respect goes both ways bitch. Plus she would constantly kick me out to sleep on the couch whenever she wanted a guy to stay over. She would text me at 10pm while I was at work… “Just to be considerate, I’m having a friend come visit… so IDK where you’ll sleep”.. yup thanks a lot roomie! But thank god I got my own room this semester.

However, since I live in a house with 10 girls, there are a lot more problems still, and the hardest part is to tell who’s at fault because, just like children, NO ONE did it. They eat all my food… I don’t work to buy you bitches food! I’m sorry but my mommy and daddy don’t send me money for groceries… I have to work to pay for my stuff and your munchie asses are not in my budget! Yeah it’s really nice to go to the pantry to eat some breakfast and then discover my WHOLE cereal box that was UNOPENED is now empty. Any food they make they leave tons of it on the counter… seriously there is jelly, butter, crumbs, tomato soup, you name it and it’s on our couter top. How hard is it to wipe it up! Not only that they use my dishes and leave them to mold in the sink because all their dishes are already dirty. I used to do them at the beginning of the year but I’m here for an education, not to be someone’s mother. Fuck that! I do my dishes and my dishes only now, and I think that pisses them off. One time I walked in the door and one of the girls was standing in the kitchen, eating, and looked at me and said, “Don’t mind the dishes,” in a very sarcastic manner, implying that I needed to do them. Excuse me! I did not know that my role was a maid in this house, expecially since you and your on-and-off boyfriend make extravagent meals and leave all the dishes on the stove for days upon days. Gross!!

Oh, and let me mention my location: Utah. It’s beautiful here, but I’m one of the only non-mormon, non-religious girls in my house. I never knew how judgemental a lot of people in Utah can be till I moved here… Don’t get me wrong, I grew up in the LDS religion back home and it was totally different there, people were a lot nicer. However, I parted ways with my religion and hold different beliefs. God forbit. In this house, there’s always that comment…. “I like you, BUT, you need to join institute, you need to go to church”, and they are never hesitant to let everyone else (except ME) know that they do not approve of something I do, and I know this because one of our roommates has the BIGGEST mouth (though she is really sweet and I really enjoy her) and tells me everything. I feel unaccepted, and I feel looked down upon because I choose not to go to church. They drive me nuts when they act like they are morally superior to me just because they’re mormon. And that is the case, because if I were just Christian or Catholic it would be the same thing..

And the last thing…. there are only two private rooms in this house, and so I have to share a bathroom with the girl in the other private room. When I moved into the private room, we discussed class times so we could share the bathroom fairly and not inconveniance one another… what a waste of time. She has class at 11:30 and on some days she’s looked in the bathroom with her Celine Dion music or some other gross shit for hours before class…. Doing god knows what but apparently it’s that important. I have class at 10:30 so if I don’t get in before her I’m SOL. I’ve even heard her take a shower TWICE a few times… WTF?

I cannot WAIT to get out of this house… Oh, and by the way, I only got my own room because the girl in it moved out, even though she had to end the lease early after she had paid for a full semester. She moved out because she couldn’t stand the mess, so yeah, it is that bad!

I wish I knew what he was saying

admin — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 04:04:31 +0000

I moved into a house in south detroit, renting out the spare bedroom of a Laotian family. I am expected to eat every dinner with them, and I guess the culture difference is too vast–they always STARE at me as if I ran over the grandmother every time I ask them to pass the bread. Last night, the father came in to grab some things out of my closet. He woke me up, I jumped out of bed, he panicked after seeing me (I sleep in the nude, btw), and he YANKED MY WANK. I almost thought he was going to pull it clean off. Nonetheless, he ran out of the room in a panic. I don’t know what to do. But this site was the first thing on my mind afterwards.

PS: any of y’alls need a dependable and evidently very American and non-Laotian roomie? If you can get me out of this mess…

Crazy insane roommate

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:28:46 +0000

I hate my roommate because he is an insane asshole. I come back quietly at 4 am, didnt even turn on a light only opened the window cuz it was hot.I went straight to sleep after. 6am, I here a noise. He leaves. Then he comes back and starts yelling at me saying I’m spiteful because he is pledging some fraternity, that admittedly i didn’t get a bid to, and that I’m therefore trying to make him sicker. The next day he still hates me for whatever reason, apparently the window, and has now avoided our room at all costs stopping only for 10 minutes at most to pick up stuff. He has stayed with his girlfriend down the hall for more than a week and won’t even talk to me, not that I want to. Sometimes when his girlfriend is out, he has to hang out and pace the hallway in order to avoid our room. A mutual friend of ours asked him whats wrong and he basically told him he hates me. Even though I’m the only one that has any reason to actually hate him.

I can’t wait to move!!

admin — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:38:47 +0000

I am so tired of my idiot roommate. She is a stupid, selfish, immature bitch!

She never cleans up after herself. 6 months of living in this place, and she has yet to use the broom or mop or vacuum. She won’t even wipe her crumbs off the countertops. Her dishes sit in the sink for a week, and it’s absolutely disgusting. She leaves her shit all over the apartment: shoes, nail polish, computer, school stuff…all over the place! She never bothers to buy dishwasher detergent or trash bags. When I empty the trash in the kitchen, she outs all the trash from her bedroom in there instead of taking it outside. I have found used tampons in my kitchen trash on more than one occasion!

At least once a week, I get woken up at 2 in the morning when she comes home drunk with a bunch of her stupid sorority friends. I always tell her that I WAS alseep and I would like to go back to sleep, but instead she and her friends stay up drinking and talking about the most asinine things. I’ve actually heard her friends having sex on my couch in the middle of the night!

She is so obnoxiously loud all the time. Apparently she never learned to just close a door instead of slamming it! She does laundry at 7 in the morning and slams kitchen drawers in the morning when she’s making breakfast. Dishes keep randomly disappearing from the kitchen.

I can’t stand her. Seriously, she’s a horrible human being and I hope terrible things happen to her.

She is such a piece of shit

admin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:14:27 +0000

i hate my roommate she never buys anything unless its for herself, doesn’t contribute to the cleaning but will gladly make a big @$$ mess, steals anything that she can get her grubby little fingers on, uses my stuff i.e. : shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, body wash, face scrub, anything in the fridge or pantry. has a really bad habbit of sleeping out in the living room when she has a room of her own with a bed none the less. stays on the couch all the time constintly eats in front of the tv also i dont care about that but for the love of god clean up after yourself. she feels the need to NEVER flush the toliet so everynow and then i will find a fricken log in there or piss. she plays music stupidly loud which normally don’t bug me but she always has to tone deafly sing every f’n song. she bring friends over at really bad hours and is very loud about it staying up all night when i get up at 7AM i make sure to be as loud a i want it not my fault you are to stupid or lazy to get your ass up and go to you own bed so dont complain to me because i have things that i need to get done to. another thing that i changed is now i dont keep general things out in the open anymore and since i am up in the mornings i figured out the times she runs around and does things so i take really long showers + baths right before she does so HA no hot water for you it sucks dont it!!! and i just mess around on the couch about 5 – 10 min before she runs to it and grows into the damn thing! i hate her so much and one of these days she will realize how truly annoying she is and life will bite her so hard on the ass! BRING IT BITCH I’LL PLAY YOUR LITTLE GAME!!!