everything you do is loud. when you are awake in the house, there is no sleeping. if you are awake, everyone must be awake. you are a raging bull. why must you make a meal at 90 decibels? why must you slam EVERYTHING? why must you hit your spoon against the pot all the time? does hitting it make it taste better?

can you do anything quietly? yesterday, you came home after going grocery shopping. the process of you putting away your groceries made it impossible to hear the TV in the next room.

even walking across the living room is a distraction, with your gigantic set of keys swinging back and forth on your belt loop, dozens of plastic bags flying through the air as you carry them, hard cowboy boot heels slamming on the wood floor HARD, because, yunno, you’re hugely overweight.

and your loud-ass friends. these are the same friends who once, at 5:23 AM, woke me up by screaming, yelling, laughing, and barking back and forth to each other. AT 5:23 AM. WTF? when i asked you to please keep it down because, yunno, THE SUN WASN’T EVEN UP YET, you both just looked at me like deer in headlights. what? you want to sleep at this hour? oh, we had no idea how obnoxiously loud we were being! WHOOPS!

do you notice that whenever you come home with them, i instantly close my door? does that not send up a red flag to you? guess not.

it’s easy to bring up individual instances to you and say, "hey, could you please not do that?" like blasting black sabbath when you come home from work at 11:30 PM, or waking me up my hammering at 8 AM. but how do you tell someone that they’re just loud in general? like, "hey, could you please just turn your entire life down by like, 3 notches? cause you’re really driving me crazy."

She never cleans up after herself. 6 months of living in this place, and she has yet to use the broom or mop or vacuum. She won’t even wipe her crumbs off the countertops. Her dishes sit in the sink for a week, and it’s absolutely disgusting. She leaves her shit all over the apartment: shoes, nail polish, computer, school stuff…all over the place! She never bothers to buy dishwasher detergent or trash bags. When I empty the trash in the kitchen, she outs all the trash from her bedroom in there instead of taking it outside. I have found used tampons in my kitchen trash on more than one occasion!

At least once a week, I get woken up at 2 in the morning when she comes home drunk with a bunch of her stupid sorority friends. I always tell her that I WAS alseep and I would like to go back to sleep, but instead she and her friends stay up drinking and talking about the most asinine things. I’ve actually heard her friends having sex on my couch in the middle of the night!

She is so obnoxiously loud all the time. Apparently she never learned to just close a door instead of slamming it! She does laundry at 7 in the morning and slams kitchen drawers in the morning when she’s making breakfast. Dishes keep randomly disappearing from the kitchen.

I can’t stand her. Seriously, she’s a horrible human being and I hope terrible things happen to her.